See More of What You Want In Life

Your mood can feel like a fact when you wake up heavy but it’s often just a track your brain is used to riding. I’m sharing what I did after a brutal nightmare left me foggy, tense, and pulled toward a low, anxious state. I had a choice: let the day spiral, or interrupt the pattern before it became my personality for the next week. 

We talk about why the mind keeps focusing on what it already knows, how chronic complaining turns into a thought habit, and why “woe is me” can feel oddly comforting even when you know it’s hurting you. I connect the dots between neuroscience, emotional resilience, and the spiritual side of energy and frequency including how sensitive people can feel extra vulnerable during sleep. 

If you want a grounded mindset shift that still honors your feelings, press play. Then subscribe, share with a friend who needs a lift, and leave a rating or review so more people can find the show. What’s one small choice that helps you rise when you’re down?

Transcript

Welcome To Conscious Glow Up

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Do you ever get the feeling that you're destined for an even bigger, bolder, more magical life? Welcome to the Conscious Glow Up. I'm your host, intuitive energy healer and coach Crystal Ward. My goal is to help you create the life you fantasize about by teaching you energetic spiritual laws of the universe and neuroscience tools. I'll share how I utilize these teachings in my own life with stories of single motherhood, entrepreneurship, finances, and relationships. Let's dive on into the depths of consciousness and glow up from the inside out.

Cozy Setup And Today’s Theme

SPEAKER_00 0:36

Hello and welcome back to The Conscious Glow Up. I am coming to you from early afternoon in the end of April, well, April 19th, and I was really looking forward to recording this podcast outside because it's finally been warm and hot. Yesterday was like 90 degrees. But uh it rained all night and I went outside and it's now 40 something degrees. So I was like, alright, I guess we're gonna have to um put podcast recording outside on hold. I'm not a person who enjoys any amount of cold, so I was like, you know what, let's just be cozy inside and I'm in my kitchen and we have a bay window there. I live in the woods, so I'm actually looking outside now, and there is a lot of bird activity. I don't know what's going on out there, but there are two, there's a lot of birds, but there are two super duper yellow birds. It's really cool to see. I don't know what kind they are. My grandma is like a bird expert. She loves birds, so she could probably tell me what they are. But for now, I'm just enjoying the scenery and coming to you with an episode about lifting ourselves up when it seems like the only place we can be is

Why Podcasting Works For Me

SPEAKER_00 1:51

down. But first, I want to thank you for being here. It's been almost two months. On the 22nd, it will be two months to the day that I started this podcast, and I have been having so much fun bringing you lessons from my life that have transformed me with the intention that my own gold nuggets can be gold nuggets for your life too. I had a rumble, well, it's still up, but I had a rumble channel, and I and the reason I had Rumble instead of YouTube was because uh, well, my intuition mentor said that intuitively tested that Rumble would I'd be much more successful, and because Rumble is a new platform, there aren't that many people talking spirituality like I do, and the so the types of topics that I bring would stand out. So I actually really liked it. I enjoyed, you know, having my backdrop. It was it was a pink sheet, like a hot pink sheet with plants all around. It was very cute, and I would put my makeup on and put a cute outfit on, but I was not consistent with it at all because I had to make sure nobody was home when I was filming because I was just in, you know, I had to be in a certain room and it's in the middle of the house, and I live in an old house, so if people are home, you can hear every door, you can hear just there's a lot going on, and then also I'd have to make sure the sheet wasn't wrinkly, which there's a couple videos where it's wrinkly, and I'm like, okay, oops, I forgot to steam the sheet or clean it, whatever. Um, and then I I had trouble, and I know that this comes with practice, but I had trouble with the scripting. So I would do a lot of times I would just do bullet point and then kind of talk from the bullet points. The sessions got a little, a little long and then some and then I tried transcripting one time or transcribing, sorry, transcribing and reading it from the screen, and I don't know, it just took a lot of getting used to, which I would get used to over time. But when I decided to start a podcast, I can do I mean really I could do an episode every few days, but I don't want to do that much. Um, but I'm pretty consistent with two episodes a week, and it's so much easier because I can come up with the idea, write the episode, or just jot down the bullet points. Some of my episodes are written, some of them are more freeform, and I get it done. I can go from idea to published episode in an hour and a half, give or take. So I've just decided to stick with podcasting for now because it feels really aligned, it feels super fun, super easy. I have no resistance, I don't have to get ready for anything, plan for anything. So two months in, I feel like I'm probably gonna go well past two months, and I'm very excited that you're here.

Rate Share And Leave Comments

SPEAKER_00 4:35

So if you enjoy my content and you want to help me out, I would really, really appreciate it if you could rate this show. And so if you're on Spotify or whatever podcast app you're on, you can even do it while you're listening to it right now. Just go to the homepage of the Conscious Glow Up and there should be a rate button. And as long as you've hit play on a couple of episodes, then you should be able to rate it. And I love comments, so I've had a few comments on various episodes. So love when you comment what your takeaways or insights are from the episode or how you are navigating whatever I'm talking about. And if you have a friend or a family member who you think could also benefit from this type of content, then please share it with them. Any any help from you helps me grow and it helps me keep going with this podcast. So your help, your love gives me more to more motivation to keep going, and it also returns the favor of the information I bring you. It returns the favor to me and helps me grow by every rating and share that you do. So thank

A Nightmare And Morning Heaviness

SPEAKER_00 5:36

you. So again, today's episode is about lifting ourselves up when it seems like the only place to be is down. I woke up yesterday morning after having a horrible dream that involved a massive school bomb where I had to go and help rescue students and teachers from the rubble. I don't know if my subconscious mind created all of the visuals that I saw, or if I was off helping out somewhere in the astral realm, but either way, those graphics will probably be burned in my mind forever. I woke up just uh I did not feel good. So I got out of bed. It was one of those mornings when you are extra tired and you have to literally peel yourself out of the covers. Like I imagine myself being velcroed to the bed and having to unvelcro myself. And bad dreams always exhaust me. I mean, I wake up with a really weird, um, kind of like a fuzzy feeling, but not a not a good fuzzy, not a like, oh butterflies kind of fuzzies feeling. Like my whole body just feels like it's it's fuzzy, exhausted. So I do think there's often times with my bad dreams in particular that there's an element of dark energy, but I won't go into that in this episode. But for high conscious beings, especially those of us who do go out and travel in the astral and do healings in the astral, then we are super vulnerable. Our bodies are super vulnerable when we sleep. So I recently learned in the Dark Forces class that I'm taking with my mentor, I've learned sleep protections, and I think I'm learning that you know I can do my sleep protection when I go to bed. But if I do wake up in the middle of the night and go to the bathroom or get up to if my cat needs food at 6 a.m. and I go back to bed, that I think I need to put on those protections again because a lot of my bad dreams are in the morning right before I actually get up for the day. So, like I said, I don't want to go too much into it right now. However, if you are interested in the topic of dark energies and entities, then you could check out my episode called Just a Barbie Girl in a Dark Force World. It is very illuminating and especially great for spiritual people because we are the ones super affected. And the episode is not meant to scare you in any means. It's actually meant to show you how powerful you are against these energies, but also to just bring a reality check that this is something that we do have, not even just spiritual people. This is something that everybody battles in life, whether they deny it or not, whether they understand it or not, it is a thing.

Train Tracks Of Thought Patterns

SPEAKER_00 8:07

So, anyways, I made my breakfast yesterday morning, sat down to eat it, and while my boyfriend went out to run a quick errand, I realized the heaviness that I was feeling from the dream, and just it kind of was just snowballing that that heaviness had the potential to offset any possible happiness in my day. How the mind works is that it keeps focusing on things that it is used to focusing on. It's like being on a train track. And that's why sometimes we see people who are always chipper and others who are not so chipper. And then there's people like me who can play both fields because I am learning how to, in the moment, shift negative emotions and energies into neutrality, at least neutrality, and then the goal is always to shift it into feeling a little better. This is a process that I started about 17 years ago when I found the book The Secret. That was my first massive spiritual awakening. I've had a few since then, but that like opened the door to everything. Um, I used to be a professional complainer. If there were competitions, I definitely would have won all of the awards. But the secret showed me that if I want basically a nice life, I need to rein in my thoughts. And that, if you've read The Secret or you're familiar with the message, you know that that wasn't the surface level, like big message of the book, but it is the message that I read between the lines, and it is a message that changed the trajectory of my entire life. I'm now a life coach, and I know that that book was the door that opened this career, even though it was 10 years prior to me getting certified. We are living out of constant states of mind. So there is really no benefit to playing grump all day long. And you can probably think of somebody who is often grumpy or complaining. Are they fun to be around? No. So, and I know that if I'm playing the grump and it goes, you know, a couple hours in, like, I'm not even fun for myself to be around. So for sure, it's not fun when other people around us are grumpy.

Choosing Uplift With Napoleon Hill

SPEAKER_00 10:15

So back to yesterday morning, my daughter had a soccer game. It was her second soccer game, and so so cute. She's six years old, and it is a little co-ed team. I think most of them have not played much soccer before or ever been on a field of any sort, like a sports field. So it's very adorable watching these kids go after the ball. And so I make videos of her at the field, and I'll bring each game I bring a different stuffed animal for her. So like I'll make I'll record and then I'll have some of the videos where it's as if the stuffed animal is narrating, so you see his face, and then he looks in the camera. It's really cute. So then after the games, um, later that week before the next one, I'll say, Yeah, I got the tapes, let's watch tapes, and then let's go practice based on the tapes. So she goes throughout the week, let's watch tapes, let's watch tapes. It's really cute. So I wanted to feel joyous there. I didn't want to feel depressed and dense and anxious and just blah. And not necessarily from the dream, but from the state of mind that was started when I woke up and the state of mind that I knew had the capability to linger with me for as long as I let it. So because I get to choose my state of mind, I chose to play Napoleon Hill on YouTube on the way to her game. If you don't know who Napoleon Hill was, he was in the spaces of self-help, self-help, and personal belief, and wealth and success. And it's probably obvious by now that I am pretty into those topics as well, so he is a natural inspiration to me. And he did help a lot of entrepreneurs create the lives that they dreamed of, so I'm not surprised that I naturally gravitate towards his work. However, the things that I hear in his videos are not new concepts to me. So aside from listening to his teachings in my current life, I have lived many lives having mastered the exact concepts that he teaches, which is why I gravitate towards them in this life and why my brain has zero resistance to them. And it's why the teachings are so easy and fun for me to teach, and probably why I love sharing them. So if I already know the things that he talks about, then why do I have to listen to the videos? Just because we have information and knowledge does not mean that we are 100% or even 50% or even 40% of the time consciously accessing that information or using it. Because the brain, like I mentioned before, likes to focus on what it's already been focusing on, then when I wake up feeling off, my brain will automatically keep focusing on things that reinforce my feeling off until I make the conscious choice to focus on something that makes me feel different. I'm not somebody who lives on autopilot, so I have the awareness of when I am off, so it's easy for me to think about and decide how I would rather feel. But just because I know I'd rather feel joy and lightness instead of tensity and anxiety does not always mean that my conscious brain wants to make that switch in the moment.

Why Misery Can Feel Comforting

SPEAKER_00 13:33

You probably have felt what I'm about to say at some point. Sometimes it can feel good in a weird, sick way to decide to keep feeling like shit, to keep saying things that reinforce feeling like shit, even when you have the awareness that you can choose to feel another way. Woe is me can feel oddly good sometimes. But the problem is that if you don't make yourself snap out of it or shake it off within a day or hopefully less than a day, it has the power to grow, and then suddenly you realize that woe is me has become a thought process habit and then a pattern over days or even weeks. And then it gets harder to make the conscious decision to switch to feeling better because at that point you're just kind of like, all right, this is my life, it sucks, and this is who I am, I suck, and it just continues to snowball. So when I do want to make the switch from feeling down to up, and I feel like I want help with it rather than just brainwashing myself in the moment, then I put on a video like Napoleon Hill Wisdom. The words he speaks hold a higher frequency than the density I feel in the moments when I put him on to save my mood. If I am feeling anxious, depressed, insecure, fearful, then my frequency is temporarily lowered from my base frequency by those emotions. So to bring myself back up, listening to videos that hold high frequency information usually do the trick for me. It's great for when I'm feeling down enough to not want to bring myself back up with my own tools, where that woe is me is like, yeah, Crystal, you know, you're just feeling like crap, and I'd rather just not have to take the power within myself to bring myself back up and to instead use something outside of me to help raise me up, which in my opinion, that's fine to do. I do have a feeling that one day I'll probably be at a place where I automatically choose to use my own internal tools, but for now this works, so I use it.

Money Triggers And A Hard Reset

SPEAKER_00 15:42

The other day I had a really shitty financial day at work. My boyfriend and everyone else in the restaurant had amazing shifts. The partner I was paired with and I shared a private dining event where we were capped at making barely more than $100 each while I saw servers around me making $500, $600, $7, $700. And I mean in tips, not in sales. And I was fucking furious. Not externally, like I wasn't walking around work yelling apparently furious, but strongly furious internally, and so was my partner. But then I did let it, you know, show externally on the way home with my boyfriend when he made $650 and I barely walked with $150. So the next day, you know, after we got up, while we're eating breakfast, into lunch, I made consistent remarks about how shitty my creator field must be for me to have only made that amount of money. So out of the kindness of his heart, he offered to work together that night and pool our stations. And while I appreciated his offer on the inside, on the outside, I was playing the victim of my previous night's circumstance and said that I didn't want to pull because my creator field would just bring him down. And I also had a mini breakdown that night before, after the shift, because I work really freaking hard on my creator field, on my business, on my finances. I am one of the hardest workers at the restaurant, and I was feeling really like shad on that night. Kind of like, okay, so why do all of this work on myself and my life if nothing comes of it? I was choosing to focus more on negative things because it was feeling good to my brain to just emphasize how crap my life felt in the moment. But underneath all of that, I knew that it wasn't good to hang on to, nor would it help my creator field and would cause even stronger reflections. And I knew that if I let it, it would snowball easily. And my boyfriend knew that was true too. The next morning and I guess early afternoon after making all those comments about how I'd only bring us both down if we pulled, blah, blah, blah, woe is me. He lovingly and sternly said, Enough with the woe is me crap, you're better than that. And he was right, and I knew it. So I gave myself another half an hour to let my brain smooth out its misery, and then I went to the gym and lifted harder than I usually do. I made the conscious choice that when I was finished with the workout, it would be back to operating from the brain of a life coach instead of the complainer brain I operated out of before reading The Secret back when I was a pro complainer. Ironically,

The Choice Behind Every Choice

SPEAKER_00 18:36

the Napoleon Hill video that I randomly selected on the way to my daughter's game was about what we choose to focus on. I put his name in the search bar, some stuff came up. I basically just clicked one, I didn't read what it was about, and that's what it was about. Exactly what was on my mind. So it was like a little nod from the universe winking at me with approval of how I was deciding to move on with my day out of the funk and into joy. Every day we are met with a series of choices, and underneath every choice is the choice of how we want to feel. I could make the choice to play death metal and further lower my frequency on the way to the game, or I could make the choice to play something that I knew would uplift my spirits and raise my frequency. I can make the choice to complain all night about a shitty station at work and let my guests feel that energy underneath everything I do and say, and possibly not re-visit the restaurant again because the server was kind of grumpy or moody, and possibly give me less than 20% tips. Or I can make the choice to go to the bathroom, look in the mirror, and tell myself I am valuable even when I'm feeling like my boss isn't valuing me, and that I choose to go out there and serve with authentic crystal energy instead of down and depressed crystal energy and get the opportunity to create return guests and make more than 20% tips. The choice is always ours.

Connect With Me And Closing

SPEAKER_00 20:09

If you liked this episode or want to share your thoughts and feelings, I love reading your comments. Or if you want to talk one-on-one, I always love connecting with my listeners. You can find me on Instagram at crystal underscore baller, that's K-R-Y-S-C-A-L, or crystal at crystalward.com if you want to email me. I hope this episode helped you in some small or large way, and I hope you have a wonderful day or night.