Self-Trust: Relationship Reflections & Radical Responsibility - Upleveling Tool

The most painful patterns in your life might not be random or “bad luck.” They might be reflections, loud wake-up calls that show you exactly where you still don’t trust yourself. We get real about why it’s so serious when we limit our perception of our own capabilities, especially when your higher self knows you’re meant for a bigger life and you keep talking yourself down.

We connect the dots between mindset, neuroscience, and energetic spiritual laws: thoughts create feelings, feelings shape actions, and actions create results. Then we take that framework into two places most of us feel the most tenderness and fear: money and relationships. You’ll hear a personal story about building a coaching business over years, the pressure of not hitting certain income milestones, and how a sneaky belief about “not being capable” showed up as a trust rupture in love. If you’ve ever wondered why the same relationship issue keeps repeating, this will land.

We also talk about radical responsibility without self-blame, why leaving a relationship without healing the root cause can recreate the same problem with a new person, and where the line is when harm or abuse is present. You’ll leave with practical reflection-decoding prompts, a new way to look at triggers, and a grounded approach to building self-trust so your goals feel like pleasure instead of pressure.

If this helped you, subscribe for more, share it with a friend who’s ready for their glow up, and leave a review so more people can find the show. What reflection has life been sending you lately?

Transcript

Welcome And The Big Question

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Do you ever get the feeling that you're destined for an even bigger, bolder, more magical life? Welcome to the Conscious Glow Up. I'm your host, intuitive energy healer and coach Crystal Ward. My goal is to help you create the life you fantasize about by teaching you energetic spiritual laws of the universe and neuroscience tools. I'll share how I utilize these teachings in my own life with stories of single motherhood, entrepreneurship, finances, and relationships. Let's dive on into the depths of consciousness and glow up from the inside out. Hello, and welcome back to the conscious glow up. Today I'm going to talk about why it's so serious when we limit ourselves and why it's important not to. Specifically when we are limiting our perception of our capabilities in our life, when we allow ourselves to believe that our potential is anything less than it is. I am still in the middle of recording the Three Stories That Shaped Me series, but today this message wanted to be shared instead, so I will come back to that third story soon. And if you've been enjoying listening to this podcast and have been gaining value, you can help me reach more listeners and help more people by rating this show on whatever podcast platform you use. And if you want to be notified when new episodes are released, then go ahead and subscribe.

Thoughts Create Actions And Results

SPEAKER_00 1:26

So when I say limit ourselves, I don't only mean in the actions that we choose to take. I mean, more importantly, in the things we tell ourselves. And I say this is more important because in a way, not in a way, but it's fact that our thoughts lead to our actions. Our thoughts make us feel a certain way, and those feelings are what lead to the type of action we take. If we don't take action, and they lead to our results. So our thoughts are very, very important. Limited thoughts lead to limited actions. Limitless thoughts lead to limitless possibilities. But we have sixty to ninety thousand thoughts per day, and a majority of those thoughts are automatic. A majority of those thoughts go unnoticed by our conscious, aware brain, and a lot of those thoughts we've told ourselves over and over and over again, so when they come up, sometimes we don't even notice them. I know for me, I have plenty of limiting thoughts about myself and my capabilities, and that's what brings up me here today. And when those thoughts are skewed perceptions about what we think we are capable of in our life, but our higher self knows that what we are telling ourselves is bullshit, we will get confronted very boldly by our higher self with

Higher Self Reflections Explained

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something called reflections. Here's my story, the example for this episode. Ever since I was a kid, a voice in my head told me I was going to be a businesswoman, long before I even knew what a businesswoman even was. I was like four years old when this started. But looking back, I actually had a few businesses before the business I have now, and my first business was in second grade when I would buy candy bars back, you know, in the Stone Ages when they were like 50 cents per bar, and then I would go to the playground and sell them in the neighborhood, and I made a pretty good amount of money. And then I had a pet sitting business and some other things in between now and then. But in my late 20s, I actually, you know, got an LLC and started a quote unquote real business. So regarding my limited perceptions, if my higher self created me to have a business that was meant to serve tons and tons of people, not just with candy bars, but the kind of serving I do now, meant to serve tons and tons of people on the planet, she would probably want me to have tons and tons of reach, meaning this business would make me tons and tons of money, right? Because the amount of our wealth is directly cor correlated to the amount that we have helped people. So if I have this higher self-planned business before I'm even out of my mom's womb, and then I am at a place where I've created it and I'm literally living in it, do you think my higher self wants me to have thoughts that I'm not capable of making tons and tons of money and reaching tons and tons of people? Probably not. If I am not rooted, emotionally fully rooted to the belief that I can make tons and tons of money, do you think I will be taking the actions that will lead me to helping tons and tons of people? Probably not. And do you think that would lead to me helping more or less people in the world? Because it's not about the money. The money is a wonderful byproduct. It is about the service to others, the service that is part of the Earth herself's mission to raise her baseline frequency. And in order for her to be successful, she needs tons and tons of people who are helping tons and tons of other people raise their individual baseline frequencies. Hence why I created this podcast. That is part of the way I help people right now. Alright, so now we have the understanding from a global perspective as to why my higher self and as to why your higher self does not want us limiting ourselves. Because it directly interferes with the raising of the frequency of the literal planet. No big deal. But now let's talk about the selfish reasons why I wouldn't want to limit my perceptions of my capabilities, and why you don't want to limit yours either. Because when our higher self does not want us feeling limited, which it is very easy for us to feel limited, when she does not want us settling for anything less than what would make us happy, then you better believe she will let us know fucking loudly. I've had

Two Paths To Business Success

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my business going on seven years now, this particular business, coaching. I started as a health coach, evolved into general life coaching, and now I am a spiritual, energetic, intuitive healer. So this has kind of been a long time for me to not even have made $100,000 total yet. But I'm honest with you, I haven't. Not even all the years combined. And I already know this is because there are generally two routes that a higher self will give the human self when it comes to business. One route is the human creates a very successful business seemingly overnight, but then they lose it all and have to learn how to recreate it because they never actually learned much on the way to their success. They just woke up one day with a million in their bank account. Or maybe that's just what the business coaches on Instagram say. Just kidding. But that's route A. Big come up, and then you kind of lose it and have to learn how to recreate it. Route B is you struggle bus it to the finish line, but when you get there, you just keep going. You don't have to lose it all in order to learn how to recreate it because you've already learned literally everything there is to know about how to create and manage a successful business. Because let me tell you, I am not the only person going on year seven who hasn't made $100,000 in their business. I am on Route B, clearly, so no. Still still not where I want to be yet. And that's okay. But this is where a sneaky, limited perception about my capabilities to create tons and tons of money in my business have come in.

Relationship Blowup As A Mirror

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And this is where my relationship freaking blew up in my face. If you've listened to this podcast before, you probably know by now that my loudest reflections happen in my dating, aka social area of life, because it is the one I focus on so much, and it is the one that will literally make me feel like puking in life if it isn't going well. And I don't mean dating, like, oh, I went on a date with him and went on a date with him. Like, I mean when I am in a relationship dating one person. So I got burned big time because of the perception I've had about my money-making capabilities. And this is not a fresh perspective either. This is a perspective that has been years in me having because, like I said, it's been, well, a struggle. And that amount of struggle will definitely weigh on you, no matter how persistent you are with your business, how determined you are at making it work, how much money you spend investing in coaches and courses and programs, and yes, I have shown up every day, but not with the exact perceptions that my higher self wants me to have. To her, the amount of money that I've made is absolutely perfect and more than enough, but I am human, so I haven't really seen it from from her eyes. And funny enough, this relationship issue that I recently came up against is the literal exact same issue that I've had in other relationships for over the past ten years. Yes, I said ten. So I booked a session with one of the way more advanced intuitives at my school, and she confirmed that this feeling well, she confirmed that this reflection, so these reflections happen in certain areas of life, but they're actually not, it's not a direct reflection of the thing that happens, it is a reflection of something else. So the thing that you experience is created because of a different root cause. So if I'm having a reflection of my cat, oftentimes for me, it's actually a message about my financial area of life. So the reflection that happened in my relationship came from feeling like I'm not capable of creating the money that my higher self designed me to create in this life. And it is, in fact, I asked her, is this the reason that I've had this same issue in every relationship almost? And she said, Yes, it is the thing that has given me this same problem in all my relationships. Not all of them, but around 10 years. So it is no wonder that I keep running into the same bullshit with all my partners because I've never actually known my root reflection of this problem. Without airing out my boyfriend and all my ex's dirty laundry, it does have to do with being untrustworthy and unfaithful in its own special kind of way. And to me, any hiding of anything is deceit because it severs the sacred connection between the two people. It taints the purity that was once there and just adds a nice dark cloud over it. And I know that could just be me. I am highly sensitive. I have seen plenty of women who don't take these types of challenges to heart as much as I do, but part of self-love is understanding that we are all different, and having my own back at any degree that I have to have my own back is necessary. That I am not any less than or more than other women if my personal emotional experiences of situations are different than theirs. We all have our things, the things we tolerate and the things we don't, and I no longer compare what I think I should feel about something based on how someone else might feel about the same situation. Life, the human experience, is not a cult. It can and will and should be unique to us all. So part of the reflection, the biggest part, is that these are situations with my boyfriends where trust comes up. That is the big issue is trust. Where something comes up, this special little issue that bothers me so much every single time, and it shows me that I cannot trust them anymore. And while it really freaking sucks and makes me sad, I would be wasting opportunities for my own growth if I neglected to get real with myself, you know, and face that radical responsibility shit that I talk so much about. If I can't trust them, it's a reflection of me not trusting my cat. Just kidding. Myself. And this time around, just like all the other times, it boils down to me not trusting in my capabilities to create. That's right, tons and tons of money in my business. And my higher self needs me to believe in myself because if I don't believe in myself, then I won't be a true match to making that money because it has to come from me. And the problem with that is me making limited money means I'm only helping a limited number of people in the world. So she had to yet again give me the most sour reflection I could ever get in a relationship without it being actually being cheated on with another woman. But the difference this time is I hear you, lady. I hear you, higher self woman who wants the most from me. And thank you. Thank you, higher self, for continuing to try so damn hard to get my attention all these years, but I wasn't in this wonderful spiritual college, so I didn't even know that all those other situations were just communications, they were just reflecting my own distrust

How Settling Created A Decade Pattern

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in my abilities. And it completely makes sense that 10-year timeline because as of last year I graduated college 10 years ago, and after I exited my time at college, I settled big time. I got a writing degree, and my dream was to actually be a lawyer first. And then I was like, oh, you know what? Lawyers don't really have time for families. I don't know, I just let a lot of lawyers kind of convince me that I shouldn't take that route because they were so unhappy. And so I settled, and then I was like, whatever, I'll just become a travel writer, and then I settled again because I told myself, oh, writers don't make a lot of money. So I can see why this reflection started coming up in the time frame that it did, because I really just limited myself severely. So, what is my work now? Do I dump my boyfriend? No, I fix the reflection on my end. Why? Because if I leave him and don't look at the role that I had to play, then I will only attract someone else who will behave the exact same way. Clearly, because look at my past. Now, what happens on his end will depend. Once I fully root to trusting myself and my capabilities, which trust me, I have done the work the past couple weeks, and I am worlds closer than I was, then he will either reflect that trust back to me and be trustworthy, and that issue we were having will disappear like magic. Or we will no longer be a match to being with each other and he will exit my life in some way or another, because then it is just his problem now, since I have worked through my own reflection. I already know, again, because of that beautiful tool of intuition, that we are still meant to be in each other's lives. So that means I know that I am shifting the reflection because I would not stay if that same thing happened again. I would just work on myself. But I know that things on his end have already changed as well. And I will mention that he also had his own reflective piece in this situation, the reflective piece that made him take the actions that he took, which blew up our entire relationship. It is always a two-way street. We can never fully put the blame on someone else or on ourselves, even if it's just a stranger screaming at us on the street. We are always a match to how people are behaving with us, and we are always a match to every situation and circumstance in our life. So while I know that my boyfriend and I have more relationships ahead of us, I'm not gonna sit here and pretend like these high conscious perspectives are making it any easier for me to stay while I still have a mountain

Stay And Heal The Root Cause

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of hurt inside of me. But I do trust intuition and I trust my mentor who has been doing this for like 30 years, reflections will follow you. And he says to never really leave a relationship because of a problem. Because what will happen next is you meet someone else amazing only to have the same reflection show up again. And it will show you the exact reflection you ran from with the other person. Because these aren't things that other humans in our life intend to show us or do to us, it is things that our higher self needs us to experience so that we can look at our root cause, the actual problem, so that we can come into balance with whatever limited perspective we tried letting ourselves get away with. So, with the example of me and my boyfriend, both of our higher selves were guiding the situation. It's not just like, oh, my higher self is like, hey, make him do this, or his higher self is like, make her feel this way. It's like, no, they we were a match. So we both needed what happened because we have both grown tremendously, not just me, but him as well, in the past couple of weeks. Because reflections follow you until you solve it, you want to make a relationship the best it's ever been before you even think about leaving. This being said, though, I do not condone staying with somebody who is abusing

Safety Note On Abuse

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you. No, no, no, no, no. What I would say for that is to get on top of the reflection so that you don't keep getting with abusers, but do not stay with someone who is causing you any kind of harm, psychological or physical. And please reach out to me if this is you and you just feel so lost and don't know where to begin shifting this, please reach out, and at the end of this, I will tell you where to reach out to me. This work, as you can probably imagine, is not for the faint of heart. It's not easy to stay when all you want to do is pack your bags, drink five salted rim margaritas, and head the fuck home. It is way, way harder, especially for the ego, to sit in a situation, maybe after some emotional processing first, and look at the role you brought to the table, even though it seems and feels maybe like the other person is fully to blame. But I promise you, if you can start to do this and not just in relationships, but in all situations in your life where you are feeling some type of negative way, big or small situations, if you can sit with it and figure out what is causing the reflection, you will be sitting on gold. The up levels you will create will be worth the tears, trust me. Because

New Beliefs About Money And Service

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of everything that has happened with my boyfriend, I have been able to make the following shifts in my belief system. I am rooted to the fact that I was designed to make a crap ton of money because I will help a crap ton of people in the world throughout the course of my career. I finally, truly and fully believe in my capabilities to create and manage a very successful business. I am rooted to the value that I provide myself, my child, the people I help, my family, and everyone in my life. I am rooted to the belief that I give myself everything I need. I give myself more than enough, which will be written in my energy, that creator field I've talked about, and consequently, other people will subconsciously pick up on Crystal has everything I need. And can you imagine how much that's going to help my business when potential clients feel that? I now understand that I need to feel everything that I think money in my business will make me feel, and I need to see how I already have those things now and feel those things now. I see the value of looking at my business from a place of pleasure instead of a place of pressure. For so long I thought I had to deny myself feelings of pleasure in my business unless I was making good income. But no, feeling pleasure about my business is actually a prerequisite for making the money I want and the money I was designed to create. And last, I always need to remember that I am doing this not for the money, but that every day that I am learning and growing and serving in my business is more than enough. That no matter how much money I might be making or not making on any given day, I am already getting everything I need and more out of my business because I am doing my business and serving people simply because I love to.

Homework To Decode Your Reflections

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Your homework for this week, or should I say, something you can play with and not from a place of shame, blame, or pressure, but from a place of curiosity, I cannot stress that enough, I invite you to look at any situation in your life, big or small, and see if you can uncover the root cause. And remember, the problem is not directly correlated to the root cause. The problem is in an area that you will notice, but it has to do with something else. Is your faucet sink is your is your sink faucet leaking? Try to identify which area of life you are leaking energy. Is your cat throwing up more often like mine is? Where are you refusing to take in nourishment? I am pretty sure that my root cause of my cat throwing up is from not taking in nourishment from my relationship since all this happened. So I'm going to shift. That and see if my cat's throwing up stops. And yes, animals are our little selfless communicators, as are our children. Animals and kids are the best illuminators of our own imbalances, and I'm not going to, you know, fully get into that right now, but I will talk more about that in future episodes, I am sure. But for now, you have a lot to work with. And if you would like help decoding something specific or going deeper

Reach Out And Closing Encouragement

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with any of these concepts, I love hearing from you, so feel free to reach out to me at crystal at crystalwar.com or on Instagram at crystal underscore baller, and that's crystal K-R-Y-S-T-A-L. Happy decoding, guys, and happy being high conscious. Like I said, this work is not for the faint of heart, but if you found me, I imagine you're here to do some big, bold, magical things in your life, and these understandings are going to help you so, so much along the way. I promise you. Take care and have a wonderful day.